Hemoglobin low

Around 3.30am Sasha started to breath very heavily and became agitated so we gave her 1 dose of morphine to ease her discomfort with breathing. We paged Dr Goldman at 6am and he oked giving her more and came to visit at 9.30 and we gave her morphine mixed with midazolam for sedation. We discussed putting Sasha onto a constant infusion so she will always have a bit in her system and we can top them up when needed. Sasha slept a couple hours, and Pamela went to her OB appointment with Dr Berman, not wanting to put it off as she is within a couple weeks of her due date. Sasha opened her eyes once in a while, confused and unhappy. She is very puffy and on her return Pamela gave her 10ml lasix to get some of the fluid out. We have a rush order for more morphine and midazolam in to Sick Kids and Calea pharmacy and expect it early afternoon.

My sister in law Lisa visited and soothed Sasha with strokes to her forehead and some stories. Lisa is easy to be around and knows how to hang out, help and make small talk when you dont want a heavy scene reiterating the up to the minute bad report. With Sasha bleeding for almost a week we expect her hemoglobin has dropped precipitously and we understand the likely course over the next few days. We look forward to people dropping by when they want without having a vigil full of long faces. It is hard on sad parents when people bring a lot of sadness with them. We have lots to be glad about.

Since Sasha may not make her walk today we have to settle for some scenes of the walk on Saturday to the pastry shop and feeding Sam some brioche and my view on our Monday walk of Sasha's gorgeous golden curls and a lovely scene with my brother Sean that epitomises Sasha's love of people and sharing.

She is breathing easier now, thanks Mom for being such a great nurse. I am going to look in the archive of earlier days for something special to enjoy.


  1. Anonymous2:53 PM

    Years ago I put on the TV to see the news but it was on a different channel -the Oprah show. She was talking about a gratitude diary and the exercise of recording at least 5 things a day for which one is grateful.You epitomize the awareness of gratitude-a valuable gift that will carry you through the darkest days since some light will pierce that darkness and on other days the light will flood into your life. I wish the same for Pam too. I am grateful for Sasha and all she teaches us and for the special gift of the imminent arrival of a new baby.

  2. thank you so much for sharing everything, and allowing us "in" during this very hard time. i know you are doing everything to keep sasha comfortable and happy....she is a MIRACLE and has exceeded all expectations. she is a fighter!!!!! her smile, those curls, her strength, she's incredible!!! your family is amazing, you are not alone...i love you guys SO much and miss you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! xoxoxoxoxo ;)

  3. Anonymous3:07 PM

    I'm sitting here wondering why Sasha came into our lives-why she was chosen for this to happen-why you were chosen for this to happen to-why we all got to be a part of something amazing.And then I think of her smile......and I know why.

    jess xoxoxox

  4. Anonymous3:42 PM

    I did a dance for Sasha today... I was in my home and she was in hers, but I danced and smiled and remembered what fun we had dancing together before - me performing, sash enjoying the show... a light, a joy...

    love love love