Showing posts with label memorials. Show all posts
Showing posts with label memorials. Show all posts
Remembering Rotem: parents write about the ICU experience and their grief
I was moved by an article describing the life and death of Rotem Engel, the public internet updates by his parents Dana and Oded and the internet circle that supported them as their young son struggled to live and then died in ICU. They do not know what caused his symptoms but they moved mountains to bring him up to age 6 and loved and cared for him fiercely. They poured their heart out on the internet as he was in CCU, relating how they begged their son whose organs were failing to not give up, the father's lament that he failed his son, questions as to did they do enough. I could feel again that sickening wait between endless tests to see if a failing organ will rebound and your child survive - without even knowing what comes next. The article ends with discussion of public grief writing and support on the internet and touches on sibling loss and grief work with a detailed look at how intensive the ICU experience can be if the parents wish doctors to provide every support available. Collective Coping is a painful, inspiring snapshot of the brave struggle of one medically fragile child and the love and support of his parents and the support of strangers in an Israeli internet forum.
From Granny and Gramps
Hi Pam and Jon.
The 20th is always a special day of remembering Sasha. We think of her often and now know that another part of the process is being planned with the date for the unveiling. We are grateful for her – for the blog and all the pictures of Sasha, the special thoughts and emotions, and so many memories
Fondest love to you both and the biggest squeeze and hug for Mia.
Henry and Marcia
The 20th is always a special day of remembering Sasha. We think of her often and now know that another part of the process is being planned with the date for the unveiling. We are grateful for her – for the blog and all the pictures of Sasha, the special thoughts and emotions, and so many memories
Fondest love to you both and the biggest squeeze and hug for Mia.
Henry and Marcia
Celebration of Remembering
The Temmy Latner Centre and the Max and Boutrice Woolf Centre for Palliative Care held a unique and deeply moving memorial to the children and adults who died in their care over the last year. The memorial was held in the beautiful Floral Hall at Edwards gardens which was the perfect setting with its natural stone construction and lovely flora of all kinds.
As caregivers and parents spoke, other parents and children and family members build a small but elaborate house made from sticks and boughs tied together with colourful ribbons and decorated with feathers and flowers. An oval cupped wooden frame with sheep wool was then inserted as the floor.
Into this house we placed small objects in memory of our loved ones. We put in a baby Raggedy that we bought from the 5 Fifty 5 shop at Sick Kids and one of Heather Rivlin's photos with Sasha holding her Raggedy on Mom's lap with the IV in the background.
Then the youngest and the oldest were invited to say a blessing and Henry carried Mia to stand around the house with other children and grandparents.
The tempo of the 2 hour memorial alternated between stories told from 4 microphones and the ever changing group of siblings and parents and grandparents constructing the house.
Stephen Jenkinson introduced the ceremony as a time to re-member which he said was not the opposite of forgetting but of dis-member: we were here to reconnect with people separated from us. Jennifer told us about where they found each of the items used in the house and reminded us that the trees were a short time ago living things, connected to trunks. A duo sang and played violin of a melancholy and undefined music from 'The East'. And a number of doctors shared their special memories.
I feel privelaged to know such a deeply compassionate and spiritual team of care givers and, as the team members expressed over and over, they feel privelaged to care for our dying loved ones and then supporting the families when they grieve.
One woman related how she and her partner were married at home just before Olivia's death and I could feel that same sacredness she mentioned in the care and attention put into getting Sasha home again.
A little girl named Sage who was almost two joined in several times through the evening with loud shrieks of excitement that sounded so like Sasha.
It was very special to see Russell and have him hold Mia and play with her. As we heard from other doctors and nurses and specialists, we could see that the Centre attracted gentle positive people. I met Ceilidh the life specialist from HSC 4 who had worked with Sasha and Mom during the day when I was at work.
I was asked by Dr Chris Newman to speak about how the Center had helped Sasha and when I did speak I ditched my notes and spoke from my heart as I had noticed noone else used notes. My written words are a bit melodramatic, but true nonetheless. It would be nice to be able to write like you speak.
The evening was designed to help us reconnect not only to our loved ones but also to the people who became like family during intensely emotional and intimate moments and who then disappear from our lives.
Packets of sunflower seeds were placed at the door for planting because of their big happy faces.
It was a memorial unlike any other I have witnessed.
Thank you.
This seems the perfect spot to show you the two trees planted in Sasha's memory on Paint Lake:
As caregivers and parents spoke, other parents and children and family members build a small but elaborate house made from sticks and boughs tied together with colourful ribbons and decorated with feathers and flowers. An oval cupped wooden frame with sheep wool was then inserted as the floor.
Into this house we placed small objects in memory of our loved ones. We put in a baby Raggedy that we bought from the 5 Fifty 5 shop at Sick Kids and one of Heather Rivlin's photos with Sasha holding her Raggedy on Mom's lap with the IV in the background.
Then the youngest and the oldest were invited to say a blessing and Henry carried Mia to stand around the house with other children and grandparents.
The tempo of the 2 hour memorial alternated between stories told from 4 microphones and the ever changing group of siblings and parents and grandparents constructing the house.
Stephen Jenkinson introduced the ceremony as a time to re-member which he said was not the opposite of forgetting but of dis-member: we were here to reconnect with people separated from us. Jennifer told us about where they found each of the items used in the house and reminded us that the trees were a short time ago living things, connected to trunks. A duo sang and played violin of a melancholy and undefined music from 'The East'. And a number of doctors shared their special memories.
I feel privelaged to know such a deeply compassionate and spiritual team of care givers and, as the team members expressed over and over, they feel privelaged to care for our dying loved ones and then supporting the families when they grieve.
One woman related how she and her partner were married at home just before Olivia's death and I could feel that same sacredness she mentioned in the care and attention put into getting Sasha home again.
A little girl named Sage who was almost two joined in several times through the evening with loud shrieks of excitement that sounded so like Sasha.
It was very special to see Russell and have him hold Mia and play with her. As we heard from other doctors and nurses and specialists, we could see that the Centre attracted gentle positive people. I met Ceilidh the life specialist from HSC 4 who had worked with Sasha and Mom during the day when I was at work.
I was asked by Dr Chris Newman to speak about how the Center had helped Sasha and when I did speak I ditched my notes and spoke from my heart as I had noticed noone else used notes. My written words are a bit melodramatic, but true nonetheless. It would be nice to be able to write like you speak.
The evening was designed to help us reconnect not only to our loved ones but also to the people who became like family during intensely emotional and intimate moments and who then disappear from our lives.
Packets of sunflower seeds were placed at the door for planting because of their big happy faces.
It was a memorial unlike any other I have witnessed.
Thank you.
This seems the perfect spot to show you the two trees planted in Sasha's memory on Paint Lake:
Seeing Sasha when saying goodbye to Bertha
On our way to Montreal we saw the lovely Krausz residence in Kingston and loved how many pictures of Sasha there were all over. Then in Montreal a white butterfly flew over Bertha's funeral, just as it had at Sasha's funeral. After the Rabbi spoke about Bertha and all the family who missed her, Uncle Lewis asked to say a few words and it was very special to hear him add Sasha's name. There is such a power in small moments and details.
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