Tonight a neighbour who faces us across the street told me that one day his little niece Christal visiting from Italy suddenly ran down from their porch, crossed the street, stood before the two pathways leading to us and our neighbour's door and then walked up our steps to the porch. As this was something Christal had never done before, they were shocked and happy there was no car. Without a reason to explain her bolt across the street, the family thinks Christal saw something and not a dog or cat in the window or a fluttering propeller by the stairs. "I think babies can see things we adults can't see".
Mike and his partner Tammy described Christal as more willfull than elder kids, if you asked her to do something she might just say no, she didn't feel like it, spoken to in Italian and English, small for her age and acting more grown up than they expect from a child of less than 3 years. Christal connotes "clear and bright" or "anointed" as a follower of a prophet. Mike and Tammy were not there when Christal ran to our porch, they relayed the story from their family. So I asked some questions. Maybe she was excited by the dog. No, she had a dog, she wouldnt have been so excited.
I remembered after H's shiva for his father that we read together some questions from 'The Jewish Book of Why'. He had taken the book to read by his father's body at the hospital morturary since his death on shabbat meant they could not find someone to watch the guard. So he acted as his father's shomer. So as we sat around the table I opened to the section on death and a question discussed was, where should the shiva should be held? The answer was the shiva should be held where the soul would return to view its earthly home.
I remembered their family sitting on the porch playing dominoes or cards or chit chatting or eating, even as our friends arrived for visits and prayers: shiva and the neighbourhood watch. I wondered when Christal ran across to our porch and Mike thought it was after 'the people had gone, though some people still visited' and he was sure we were not home and that Sasha had died. Four or so hours after Sasha's death, as we tried to sleep for the first time in the same bed, Mia told us she was coming and we sped down to Mount Sinai Hospital. We were there almost the minimum time, three days, burning to get home. So for three days the house was empty but for dog and cat. The funeral was 4 days after we returned. The shiva then followed by seven days.
So our lovely Italian neighbours across the street believe Christal ran across the street upon seeing Sasha's spirit when we in hospital with Mia or after the shiva when we were out one day. Or perhaps a wind caught Sasha's shiny propeller that spins beside our walkup to the porch; maybe Christal has pets but not a Sasha propeller. Or perhaps Christal saw one of our animals wiggle the curtains and appear in the big window then disappear back to sleep.
I had a dream about Sasha last night.It's not my first but I woke up feeling like I'll never forget this one.
ReplyDeleteWe were waiting for Erin to come home from camp-I went to use a bathroom in somebody's house-it looked like a castle.When I walked in, I saw Sasha sitting on a table.I was surprised.She was sitting with a stuffed toy,said "hi" and reached out to me.I went to pick her up and she disappeared.I remember looking around and feeling confused-did this really happen?Did anybody else see her?Why did this happen?Erin came off the bus and we went home-I woke up.
I woke up feeling almost the same as I did in my dream.Why did I dream of Sasha?
Yesterday was Mia's baby naming.She looked so sweet.Pammy and Jonny looked so happy.Cousins and friends playing in the backyard.So many wanted to meet Mia-so many who love Sasha.Being in Henry and Marcia's home brought so many memories of Sasha's baby naming back.I love those memories.I cherish those memories.
I hope to keep on dreaming of Sasha. I won't ask myself why anymore-I'll cherish them.
Jessica